Last School Night

It’s 12:37am, and it’s my last school night. Yes, I know what you’re thinking Mom and Dad, I should be asleep. I've got my two last tests tomorrow, and sleep would be a great idea, but I just can’t. I have 19, well now 18, days left here and I just can’t wrap my mind around that. I’m feeling so much that I’m numb. I’m not feeling anything. It’s so on and off.  The past 2 weeks have been the craziest roller coaster yet. One day I’m stoked to go home, and I’m itching to bike around Columbia, but a couple hours later I’m sitting on my bed not knowing how to feel, not being able to leave. How can I leave my family? Yes, family, because they’re so much more than a host family to me.

I spent an hour at the cyber, (internet café minus café), with my little brother today. He needed to print something out and we sat on the same chair in front of an old dell for 40min waiting for the owner to come let us print it. It hit me how normal that was for me. Even though I’d never been in that cyber before, sitting there with my brother was totally normal. We are siblings. We fight and get annoyed at each other, but in the end we love each other. It’s the same with my sisters, but with much less fighting. 11 year old boys are just different. I can’t imagine my life here without them. I can guarantee that the day I leave my eyes will be far from dry.

Let me be honest for a moment; school has never been my favorite part of exchange. It’s fine, I get through it, but I cherish the other parts of my day so much more. It just has a different priority than it does back home. I've had a total of 8 weeks of break over the past 9 months and only have class about 20 hours a week. It just hasn't been a huge part, but walking out of that school for the last time will be weird tomorrow. As much as I’ll be celebrating, I think I’m a bit sad to see my crazy Premiere S class go, and bid those white and blue walls goodbye. Everyone will still be going for BAC prep, but I’m super lucky and don’t have to.

It doesn't feel like your usual last school night, but then again it never has. Break doesn't feel like break here, because school isn't the main part. I have classes at AMIDEAST and plenty of things to do. I just finished my cookbook this morning and need to brush it up before publishing it in the next week.

Time is flying by, and it doesn't feel like I’m leaving in 18 days. I have so much to do. So many lasts, so many gifts to buy, but I just don’t have enough time. How can I live to the fullest when it’s just become daily life? My whole sense of time is skewed. That’s probably why I’m still up at 1am typing this… I've got to get to sleep, but I can’t. It’s my last school night.