Blurred

Everything is blurred. Blurred between two completely different yet simultaneous worlds. One world cannot stop and wait, and the other world cannot pull ahead. Life goes on. Time passes the same as ever in this world and in that world. Two  completely different worlds separated by the blurred line.

When you are completely devoted to one world, everything is clear as can be, but when they connect, your vision is blurred.

This might sound conceited, but it's so crazy to think that while I'm here time goes on All my friends are in school, the CPR retreat was this weekend, and my mom just ran a triathlon. I don't know why its so shocking to me that life goes on without me, but for some reason it is...

During the day when I'm totally involved with daily life here and the excitement of exchange, I'm totally fine. My mind is in the same world as my body. Then I come home and somehow get wifi from another apartment around us, so I see what's going on in the other world. The two worlds collide and things get blurry.

I'm not in the US right now. I'm not experiencing the daily things like meeting on Main Street before class or lacing up my cleats for practice. There's no way that world can be clear while I'm here.
I stay up late every night waiting for that one Skype call or that one facebook message that will magically connect the two worlds and I'm back home, but I'm realizing that it's not possible. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE talking to everyone back in the states and I wouldn't change it, but nothing is going to make me back at home, even for a couple of minutes. I need to get up and find my life here, where God wants me to be right now.

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